Title:The Resolution

Author: Tess

E-mail: tnv099@aol.com

Distribution: Sure, but I'd like to know where

Spoilers: Sixth Extinction; Amor Fati

Rating: PG-13 for a little language

Content: MSR

Classification: A, R

Disclaimer: Characters belong to 1013 Productions, Fox, CC, DD and GA. 

Obviously, not to me. Not making any money, just spending some time on 

a rainy day alleviating the boredom.

Summary: Sometimes a dream world is not all it's cracked up to be



Author's Notes: Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed the last 7 minutes of 

Amor Fati as much as the next person did. But something about that 

dream sequence always bugged me. This is my spin on it. I'd be curious 

to know if you think it makes sense.





Title: The Resolution

Author: Tess





A steady rain fell. Scully shivered as the winds picked up. The frigid 

gusts of wind actually rocked her tiny frame as she stood next to her 

silent partner. Winter had come early to Washington.



Mulder's gaze was locked on the ground in front of him. They were the 

only people still here. The minister and the few other people who had 

attended the funeral had long since gone. Diana, it seemed, would never 

have won any popularity contests and attendance at the graveside 

service was sparse.  



Scully shivered again as the winds shifted once more, this time driving 

the rain sideways. She sighed and gave up fighting with her umbrella. 

She was soaked anyway.



As time passed and Mulder showed no signs of leaving, Scully touched 

him gently on the arm.



"Mulder," she said quietly. "I think they want to finish up here. We 

should go." Scully glanced over at the groundskeepers waiting for them 

to leave.



Mulder stood silently not acknowledging her words. Scully sighed. When 

she had told him about Diana's death several days ago, he had been the 

one to comfort her. Scully was no hypocrite. The tears she had shed 

were for Mulder. She accepted that Diana had been instrumental in 

helping her save Mulder from the DOD facility but that did not negate 

the fact that she had helped to place him there in the first place. 

Scully could perhaps, in time forgive, but she would never forget.  



Ever since that day, however, Mulder had been distant and withdrawn. He 

had allowed Scully to sit with him during the brief service at the 

funeral home and had accepted her hand wrapped around his own in 

comfort. But he had barely spoken a word to her during this time. He 

was locked up in whatever emotion he was feeling over Diana's death and 

there was seemingly little to no room for Scully.



"Mulder!" she said more firmly this time. Still he did not respond. 

Scully shook her head, wet strands of hair sticking to the sides of her 

face. She moved to stand in front of him, blocking his view of the 

grave.



Mulder raised impatient eyes to hers.



"Mulder, come on. It's freezing out here and we're both soaked. You 

still haven't completely recovered and I don't think it's a good idea 

for you to be out in this weather."



He shook his head and ran his hand through his wet hair. The bandages 

had come off yesterday and he winced as he brushed over the tender scar.  

With a last glance at the gravesite, he nodded and turned. He strode 

off toward the car taking long steps, leaving Scully scrambling to keep 

up. Mulder reached the car first and held the passenger door open for 

Scully to get in. He had passively accepted her driving them to the 

funeral but now stood impatiently waiting for her to get into the car. 

She raised her eyes to his questioningly. His return gaze was 

challenging and she dropped the keys into his hand.



They drove back to her apartment in strained silence. Mulder pulled up 

in front of her building, but left the car running.



"Do you want to come in? Maybe have some coffee? Dry off?" she asked.



Mulder shook his head refusing to meet her eyes. "No, thanks. I'd 

really like to be alone today." He waited for her to get out of the 

car.



"Oh..All right. I, um...I guess I'll talk to you...um, whenever. All 

right. I'll see you..," her voiced trailed off weakly and she fumbled 

for the door handle.



She ran toward her building and heard the car pull away. Scully 

searched her pockets for her keys and then she realized that she had 

given them to Mulder at the cemetery.



"Damn it!" she exclaimed pulling out her cellphone and pressing speed 

dial #1.



"Shit!" she moaned as the computerized voice told her that Mulder's 

phone was not in service.



She sat down on the steps of her building wondering if the wetness on 

her face was from the rain or her tears.



****************



Scully was huddled on her sofa wrapped in a quilt. She could not get 

warm. She had stood in the icy rain almost 40 minutes waiting for the 

super of her building to show up with the spare key to her apartment 

building. She was drifting off to sleep when she heard a key in the 

lock. <Mulder> she thought tiredly.



Mulder padded softly across the room and set her keys gently down on 

the coffee table before turning to leave.



"I'm awake," she muttered hoarsely.



"Did I wake you? I'm sorry, I just wanted to drop off your keys."  



Scully pushed herself up to a sitting position eyeing the keys 

balefully.



"Thanks."



"Okay, well go back to sleep. I-I'll call you later..."



Scully interrupted him as her entire body was wracked by a deep 

coughing spell. When it had passed she continued to sit, hanging her 

head as she tried to catch her breath. Mulder dropped down on his 

haunches before her.



"Hey, you sound terrible.  God, you're shivering - are you alright?"



"Yeah, I'm okay.  Just too much time out in the cold rain today."



Mulder's head dropped until his chin was touching his chest. "I'm so 

sorry, Scully. I should never have made you stand out at the cemetery 

for so long. I just...I just...I don't know what I was thinking."



He stood abruptly. "I should be going and let you get some rest. Do 

you need anything? Can I make you some tea? What can I do?"



Scully reached out and caught his wrist in her hand.  



"Will you sit here with me and talk to me for a little while?"



"Maybe that's not such a good idea, Scully. You should get some sleep..."



"Mulder did you really sneak into my apartment this late at night just 

to drop off my keys? Or were you hoping that I'd be awake and we could 

talk?"



"We can talk later, you should get some rest and I-I should just get 

going."



"Fine. Lock the door behind you!" Scully waved her hand dismissively 

toward the door and flopped back down onto the sofa.



"Look Scully. What do you want from me? This day has been the really 

shitty end to a really shitty month for me. Wanna cut me a little 

slack?"  Mulder's face was flushed with barely suppressed anger.



"Gee Mulder. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that it's been such a rough 

time for you. I guess I've been so caught up in all the good times 

that I've been having lately that I forget that not everyone is in the 

same good mood," Scully's voiced dripped with sarcasm. "What the hell 

are you yelling at me for, Mulder? I'm not the one who was putting you 

through that torture! I'm not the one who took you away so that a hole 

could be drilled into your brain! I'm the one who's been running around 

like crazy trying to find some way to save you, worrying that I wasn't 

smart enough, didn't believe enough, wasn't *enough* to save you!" 

Scully had risen to her knees on the sofa as her voice grew louder and 

more strident. She clapped a hand over her mouth at the stricken look 

on Mulder's face and sank back down onto her heels, miserable.



"God. Mulder. I'm so sorry. I never should have said...Look I know that 

nothing I went through compares to the horrors you experienced. And I 

know that you just buried someone that you cared very deeply about." 

She took a deep breath. "You're grieving and I should be more 

supportive. I-I don't have an excuse really. I'm just very tired and..."



Mulder sighed and sank down on the sofa next to her. "It's alright, 

Scully. I am grieving. For the woman that I had always thought she 

was, but now know she could never be. We've talked about what happened 

over the last few weeks, but I haven't told you everything yet. I told 

you that I went to a place where I chose a different path, a different 

life. Where Samantha was alive and happy. I told you that the one 

constant thing in my life has always been you. And that's true. But I 

didn't really explain what happened."



"Oh, Mulder. You're right. It's late and you must be so tired. We don't 

need to get into this now," Scully's voice was soft and regretful.



"No. I *did* come over here hoping to talk. And if I leave now, I know 

you won't be getting to sleep any time soon."



Scully nodded and pulled her knees up, resting her chin on them. 

"Alright. Go ahead."



Mulder drew in a deep breath and then expelled it. "Well I told you 

that Spender came to me in the hospital. That I could hear him speaking 

to me in my mind. That he injected me with something. What I didn't 

tell you was that he told me he was offering me a choice. A chance to 

live or die. I now know that he put me into some kind of altered state. 

The reality, of course, is that he had me moved to the DOD facility 

for brain surgery of some sort. But I was not aware of that at the 

time."



"He told me that he was my father and urged me to get up from my bed. 

He handcuffed me and drove me to a tranquil suburban neighborhood. I 

wanted to let you know where I was but he said that I would be 

endangering you. He told me that I was free to return to the X-Files 

and to you at any time, but that first I should take a look at an 

alternate life. He dropped me off in front of 'my' house and I went 

inside. The kitchen was stocked with my favorite foods and Deep Throat 

was there. He told me that he didn't die for my cause and that in this 

life I needn't feel guilty for his death or my father's death or 

Melissa's death. That I didn't need to feel guilty for your cancer. 

That he was living a happy life and he hoped that I could share in 

that with him and his family."



Scully watched him, fascinated. "Sounds like a nice place to be."



"Yeah. Well, anyway, I was sitting in the living room, gorging myself 

on sunflower seeds when Diana came into the room. She was wearing a 

black negligee. She opened the handcuffs and I..I.." Mulder averted 

his eyes from Scully's, staring at a spot across the room. "I kissed 

her and took her to bed. The next morning, I told her that this life 

was perfect, too perfect and that I couldn't figure out what I was 

doing there. I told her that I had commitments, to the X-Files, to 

you. She told me that I was being childish. That I wouldn't know what 

true commitment was until I had fathered children."



Scully's eyes brightened with tears and she turned her head so that her 

cheek was resting on her upraised knees, hiding her face from him.



"Diana took me to Spender's house and Samantha was there. Beautiful. 

Healthy. Happy. A wife and mother. She helped to convince me that this 

was the life I should be leading. I married Diana, we had children and 

a happy life together. We grew older together and she died. I mourned 

her loss. I grew old and frail. Spender told me that I had outlived 

everyone. That Diana was dead; Samantha was dead. You were dead. It was 

time for me to let go. I was dying. Then you came in, young and 

beautiful. You called me a traitor. A coward. You told me that this 

life was never meant for me. That I should fight. The next thing I knew, 

I was waking up with you leaning over me, pleading with me to help you 

and, well you know the rest."



Mulder paused and glanced over at Scully. He could not see her face but 

her entire body was drawn tight and her arms were wrapped around her as 

if she was trying desperately to hold herself together.



He continued. "But the whole time, I was occasionally aware of what 

was really going on. Of being held in restraints in some medical 

facility; of being prepped for an operation. I saw Spender there. And 

I saw Diana, standing over me, helping them do these things to me." 

Mulder pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and kneaded 

at the headache forming there.



"So while they were preparing you for and operating on you, they what?  

Gave you the means to go to a safe and happy place? With Diana?" 

Scully's voice was muffled and filled with hurt.



"I'd like to be able to claim that they 'put' these visions in my head. 

That they were not a product of my imagination. But that would be a lie.  I dreamt, I imagined this life on my own."



"I see. It must have been terrible for you, Mulder. Seemingly losing 

her twice. Once in this dreamworld you created and now in reality."



Mulder slipped off the sofa and knelt on the floor in front of her. He 

placed his hands on her knees, urging her to look at him.



"I know there are times when you want to 'get out of the car' and live 

a normal life. A life like the one I just described. Scully, I've loved 

you for so long now. But I've never acted on it because I've always 

believed that we were meant for more important things. That we couldn't 

save the world if we were to allow ourselves the pleasure of each other. 

That I had to deny myself a more intimate relationship with you; that 

we could never be more to each other than partner and friend because 

by doing so, we might lose sight of the bigger picture. And I've led 

you to believe that I'm perfectly content with the life I have now and 

that I didn't want anything more from it." Mulder tugged at her hands 

and forced her chin up so that their eyes met.



"But that's not true. I do want simple pleasures. A life without guilt. 

Love and a family. And I didn't choose you as my dream lover and wife 

because I knew that I couldn't have you without all of the baggage 

that comes with our life. The X-Files, the guilt, the worry and the 

fear."



Scully drew in a sobbing breath. "God, Mulder."



"That dream life that I was living was wrong. And I knew it all along.  

They left me in that dream state, alone in that operating room to die.  

But you came to me twice. Once in my dream to kick my ass. And then in 

reality to save me. I was caught between the two worlds and I could 

have just let myself die an old man in a comfortable bed, but I didn't.  

I fought because you asked me to. I came back because I would rather 

live a life with you than slip away into a false dream. I love you, 

Scully. And I'm not afraid. I know that you love me, too. I may not 

be able to read minds anymore, but when you came to me in the hospital 

the first time, I could hear your voice. It was clear and pure and it 

washed over me with all of the love that you were feeling. I bathed in 

it and took comfort in it. And I want it back."



"What are you saying, Mulder? That you'd rather live a life of misery 

with me than to be happy with someone else?" The tears that had been 

brimming in her eyes spilled over to plop in fat droplets on their hands.



"No Scully. I'm saying that I realize that any life that we have 

together is going to involve our work as well. That I know that we 

won't have some sanitized, idealized version of suburban happiness. 

That there will be joy and sorrow, happiness and pain. That I want to 

live my life with you and every emotion, everything that comes with it.

That I don't want to deny myself the comfort of your love anymore. 

That I don't want to give up my search for the truth. And part of the 

truth of this life is that I love you and want to be with you in every 

way. As partner, as friend, as lover and mate. That I know that I don't 

have to give up a life of intimacy and love with you in order to stay 

true to our work. That I know that we can find a way to balance both. 

If you want to."



Scully raised her face to his.  Leaning forward she pressed her mouth 

to his. He could taste the salt of her tears as he deepened the kiss. 

Pulling back, she caught his gaze with her own. Her eyes were feral. 

Intent. Possessive.



"Be very sure Mulder, that this is what you want," she warned.



He nodded fiercely.  "I'm positive."



She threw her arms around him and drew him close to her fevered body. 

She lay back against the cushions and he covered her body with his own.



"Then stay," she whispered.



The End





I'd like to know what you think at tnv099@aol.com