Title: Secrets Revealed, Promises Made

Author: Tess

E-mail: tnv099@aol.com

Distribution: If you want it, but please let me know.

Spoilers: Set between The Beginning and One Son

Rating: Really a PG-13 with a slight R for a little bit of language

Classification: A, MSR

Disclaimer: They belong to CC, Fox and 1013 Productions

Summary: Scully wants to blow the lid off of a different kind of 

conspiracy.  Mulder must face the repercussions.



Secrets Revealed, Promises Made

By: Tess





Mulder closed his apartment door behind him with a sigh. Rolling his 

head on his aching shoulders, he reflected on the long week. <TGIF> he 

thought. <Truer words were never spoken>.



He set down the bag holding the Italian takeout that he had picked up 

on the way home and made his way across the apartment to his bedroom 

door. Easing the door open he let the light from the living room spill 

across the occupant of his bed. She lay on her side, her back to the 

door wearing a white tank style shirt and a pair of white cotton 

panties. He smiled tiredly, his spirits lifting at the sight of her 

red hair spilling across his pillows.



He moved across the room and settled on the edge of the bed. He had 

thought she was sleeping, but looking at her face he realized that she 

was wide awake.



"I'm sorry I'm late," he murmured. "That last report took longer than 

I expected."



She flicked her eyes at him and nodded silently.



"Hey," he asked. "You aren't mad are you? I got here as soon as I 

could."



Scully began fingering the soft cotton of the pillowcase. Mulder 

watched her nervous movements curiously. He sat quietly waiting, 

knowing that she would speak when she was ready.



Scully drew a deep breath.  



"How long did you and Agent Fowley live together?"



Mulder's head snapped back in shock. This was certainly the last thing 

he expected to hear from her.



Scully flicked her eyes to him again and then looked away. She wasn't 

really expecting him to answer immediately.



"I was in the ladies room, getting ready to leave for the evening when 

Agent Fowley stepped in. She asked me if I knew whether or not you were 

seeing anyone right now. She went on to explain how she knew that she 

had made one of the biggest mistakes of her life when she *moved out* 

and left you."



Scully drew a shaky breath and continued. "I excused myself at the 

first opportunity and left."



Mulder scrubbed his hands against his eyes. "Scully. Diana...she's...I 

don't..." Mulder was stuttering and stumbling badly, trying to find the 

words to explain, to soothe.



Scully turned over on her back so that she could look directly at Mulder. 

Her face was a controlled mask as she stared at him.



"I knew that you and Diana were lovers, but I guess I always assumed 

that was it. I never knew you were so committed to her. I guess that 

helps explain your loyalty to her."



She looked musingly around the bedroom.  



"Did you live here?"



He slowly nodded yes.



"She picked out this furniture didn't she?" Scully's eyes swept over 

the bureau and across the bed.



Again he nodded silently.



Scully closed her eyes.



"How long were you partners before you became lovers?"



"Scully..." he entreated, "Please."



She gazed at him stubbornly.



Mulder sighed. "Three months."



She nodded. "And how long were you lovers before you moved in together?"



"Two months."



She bit her lip and nodded reflectively. Mulder could see the wheels 

spinning in her head as she contemplated the more than six years of 

partnership, only the last six months of which had been spent as 

lovers.



"So I guess everyone at the Hoover Building knew you were a couple?"



Mulder interrupted. "Scully, why are you doing this?"



"Because I want to know!" she replied harshly and the controlled mask 

slipped to reveal the vulnerability she had been trying to hide.



He silently waited for her to continue her grilling.



"Mulder, did everyone know you as a couple?"



"Yes."



"So, I imagine people were pretty respectful of your relationship?"



He looked at her questioningly.



"Did the male agents leer at Agent Fowley while she walked down the 

hallway speculating on whether or not the two of you had been 'fucking' 

the night before?"



Mulder pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.  

"No."



"Your friends knew? Your families knew?"



"Yes," he whispered.



"So a typical week for you would be to go to work together and come 

home together, make some dinner, discuss the workday, families, friends.  

And maybe on the weekends you went out to dinner or to a movie. Some 

nights you made love, but not always, because you were free to be with 

each other whenever you wanted. Maybe you would sleep late on Saturdays, 

get up, take care of household matters, maybe some food shopping, 

laundry. Maybe you spent Sundays reading the paper, watching football. 

Hmmm?"



He stared at her silently, unsure of what to say. He and Scully had 

never discussed his relationship with Diana in great detail. Scully had 

known that they had been lovers and was content to relegate Diana to 

his past. The fact that he had lived with Diana had seemed unimportant 

to his life with Scully. And, truthfully, Scully had shown no great 

interest in knowing the details of his relationship with Diana. She was 

most content in pretending that the older woman did not exist.



Scully averted her eyes from his and stared fixedly at the far wall of 

the bedroom.



"I've convinced myself that we were keeping this new aspect of our 

relationship quiet because it was necessary for our protection. I told 

myself that I would do anything so that we could be together. I told 

myself that it was alright not to let myself dream of a future together, 

to just live for the day. I told myself that it didn't bother me not 

to be able to talk to my mother about the man that I was in love with.  

That I didn't mind never being able to hold his hand or show affection 

in public."



Scully reached up and wiped away the tears that had begun to slide down 

her cheeks.



"But maybe that was all a lie. You knew her less than six months and 

you were living with her. You weren't worried about people finding out.  

You just had to be with her. Now I just feel like your dirty little 

secret."



Mulder felt his temper flare.  "Jesus, Scully how can you even say that?"  



"Mulder, what kind of life is this?  We don't spend any of our free time 

together during the work week. If we have a free weekend then we get 

together either Friday night or Saturday night. Never for the whole 

weekend, because that would be too obvious. We take separate cars to 

one another's apartments, one of us picks up takeout food, the other 

goes to the video store. We sit on the floor and eat off of the coffee 

table. We watch the video and then we make love. As many times as we 

can because it's the only time all week that we'll be able to be 

together. Then one of us has to get up before the sun rises to head 

home before daylight. We talk on the phone a couple of times over the 

weekend. You do whatever it is you do with the rest of your time, 

looking for new files, visiting the Gunmen, watching television. I 

clean and shop and call my mother and listen to her tell me about all 

of my happily married friends and family. We never go out together in 

public as a couple. Nobody knows about us. In a way, all that leering 

speculation about us at work is true."



Her voice trailed off and she let out a shaky sigh.



"God, Scully. I can't believe... We agreed that it was important that 

we keep this quiet to protect ourselves. That THEY would just use this 

against us, to separate us, maybe take you away from me again." His 

voice broke, "You know that someday..."



"That's just it, Mulder. What if someday never comes? Something could 

happen to us at any time. One of us could be killed in an accident. You 

could be shot in the line of duty. My cancer could come ba..."



Mulder lunged forward and clapped a hand against her mouth. "Don't!" 

he ordered fiercely. His eyes were blazing. "Don't ever mention that 

again. That's behind us now."



Scully's eyes softened and she nodded soothingly.



"All I'm saying is that we keep waiting for *someday*. We don't even 

plan for the future, we're too afraid to even hope for one. And we are 

throwing away our life together."



Her eyes grew pleading and she clutched his hand in hers.



"Please, just think about it. What else can they do to us? They've 

taken everything and we're still here, together. Surely they know about 

us. They know *everything* about us. Why are we letting them run our 

lives? Are you happy like this?"



Mulder was trembling now, afraid that she was leading up to telling him 

that she was leaving him.  



"I've been...content. I love you, Scully," he told her fervently.  



He cast his eyes toward the ceiling, searching for the right words. 

Finally, he lowered his gaze to her face, bending forward and looming 

over her, pressing her deeper into the pillows.



He stretched his body out over hers, forcing her legs apart and settled 

himself into the cradle of her hips. He was too afraid to be aroused, 

but needed the full body contact in an attempt to connect with her.



"Do you want to know what I do when we're apart? What I think about 

when I'm laying in my apartment alone? I think about you. I think about 

us."



Her hands were lying palms up on either side of her face and Mulder 

reached out and began to trace random patterns over her fingers and 

palms with his own fingers.



"I dream about asking you to marry me. About being free to love you 

and have everyone know it. About raising a family with you in peace. 

Of falling asleep beside you every night and waking up with you in my 

arms every morning. Of being able to bury myself in your body whenever 

I can. I dream of all of these things."



He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "But I've been content to enjoy 

what we have now. Because I've wanted to protect us. And because I've 

always *known* that someday would come. I've been confident in that. 

I couldn't get through a day if I didn't believe that."



Silent tears were tracking down Scully's cheeks again and he lowered 

his lips to lift them away.



"But you're right, Scully. We are throwing our lives away. Although I 

do know that someday will come, I don't know when. Maybe months from 

now, or maybe years. And if you're brave enough to take the chance of 

revealing our secret, then I'll be there at your side. Just like 

always."



Scully smiled tearfully at him. "God, Mulder. I don't want to force 

you into anything, but I really think that we can do this. I just need 

to know that you are sure." 



Mulder held up one finger and eased out of the bed. Padding across the 

room, he stopped and opened the top drawer of the bureau. He rummaged 

about for a few seconds and then returned to the bed, an object hidden 

in his tightly closed fist.



Without saying a word, he slid a beautiful emerald cut diamond solitaire 

onto her left hand. He pressed his lips to the ring and lifted his gaze 

to hers. His eyes asked and hers accepted.



Scully threaded her fingers through his hand and lifted the other hand 

to the back of his head. She drew him close and they sealed the promise 

with a kiss.



End

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