Title: Seeing Love

Author: Tess

E:mail: tnv099@aol.com

Distribution: If you want it, sure.  But please let me know where.

Spoilers: Oh yeah.  This is post ep for Orison

Rating: PG13

Content: R, A

Classification: MSR

Disclaimer:  Not mine. Not making any money here either. They 

belong to Fox, 1013, CC and Co.

Summary:  Healing





Seeing Love (1/1)

By:  Tess





I watched her heading into her bedroom wrapped in a blanket.  

Excusing myself I followed her.



Now I am leaning onto the mattress.  "The way I see it...he didn't give 

you a choice.  And my report will reflect that in case you're worried.  

Donnie Phaster would have surely killed again if given a chance."



"He was evil, Mulder.  I am sure of that without a doubt.  But there's 

one thing I'm not sure of."



"What's that?"



"Who was at work in me.  Or what."  "What made me...what made me 

pull the trigger?"



"You mean the hand of God?"



"I mean, what if it wasn't?"



I drop my head for a moment, gathering my thoughts.  When I lift my 

head I stare directly at her, hoping that she will see the truth of my 

words in my eyes.



"I may not share your religious convictions, Scully," I begin.  "But 

there is one thing that I hold to be 'gospel-truth' if you'll allow the 

expression."



Scully tilts her lips up in a tiny smile at my words.



"And that truth is that there is no evil at work in you.  What I am sure 

of is that if there is a God, you are one of his most beautiful, perfect 

creations.  And evil cannot coexist with such beauty."



I watch her struggle to hold back the tears rising in her eyes.  She 

bites down on her lower lip, the same lip that already bears a tiny 

wound from her battle with evil incarnate.  Settling myself more 

comfortably on the bed I draw her into my arms.



"You are always too hard on yourself.  Donnie Phaster terrorized and 

tortured you on two occasions.  You are human..."



"I'm also a federal agent," she whispers against my jacket.



"But you are a human being first and you had a very human reaction.  

He's hurt you enough.  Please don't let Phaster take anything else 

away from you."



Scully sniffs and nods against my chest.  I pull back and stand.  

Grabbing her overnight bag I pull open her bureau drawers and begin 

to pack for her.  Soft, fleecy pajamas, jeans, a sweater.  I don't bother 

with a toothbrush or bras or panties.  She already has all of that at my 

apartment.  She has pajamas there as well, but they aren't what I 

would deem as 'comfort pajamas'.  No, all of the sleepwear that she 

keeps at my apartment are silky, satiny, sexy confections to seduce 

with and be seduced in.  I set the bag on the bed next to her and 

hand her some clean clothes.



"I'm going to go out and explain where you'll be," I say quietly.  "Why 

don't you get dressed and meet me out there.  We'll leave as soon as 

you're ready."



Scully nods and draws the clothes closer to her.   Bending down I 

place a soft kiss on her lips.  I turn to leave the room when I see it 

sitting there.  Reaching out I grab her bible and toss it lightly into her 

open suitcase.  



"Okay, you're all packed.  I'm ready when you are."



Scully smiles softly, her fingers lightly tracing the gold embossed 

words on the bible in her suitcase.



"I'll be right out."





*****  



I open the door to my apartment and step aside to allow Scully to 

enter.  She's standing in the center of the room, her arms wrapped 

protectively around her middle.



"Scully," I call.  



She lifts her gaze to mine.



"Want to take off your coat and stay awhile?" I ask.  She smiles 

sheepishly as she shrugs out of her coat.  She looks so lost standing 

there, staring at nothing.  I walk back to her and wrap my arms 

around her, urging her to rest her head against my chest.  My hands 

sweep up and down her back and then I cradle her head in the palm 

of my hand.  My fingers tunnel through her hair and I feel a lump on 

the back of her head beneath hair that is sticky and matted with 

blood.



"Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?" I ask.  "You have 

a huge lump here," I say as I carefully run my fingers over it.  "There's 

blood too."



"No," she sighs against my shirt.  "The EMTs checked me out.  I'm 

okay."  



She slumps tiredly against me.  "I probably should get cleaned up."



I take her hand in mine and lead her into the bathroom.  Grabbing 

fresh towels from the shelf I set them on the edge of the sink and lean 

over the tub to turn on the faucets.  As the water thunders into the 

tub, I hear a tiny gasp come from behind me.  Turning, I see Scully 

gazing at the tub uneasily and I know she's hearing the bathtub filling 

in her apartment as she struggled to free herself.



Scully is not a woman who allows herself many indulgences.  Nice 

clothes and long soaks in hot, fragrant water are two small ways in 

which she pampers herself.



I tip her chin up so that I can see her eyes.  



"I'll stay right here if you want me to," I assure her.   I am determined 

not to allow that bastard to take one of these simple pleasures away 

from her.



Scully nods gratefully and begins to strip out of her clothes.  I bite 

back a gasp when I see her nude form revealed before me.  Her skin 

is so fair that the bruises are already showing.  Her back is covered 

with them and I can see the marks of Phaster's fingers on the delicate 

skin of her throat.  Still, I say nothing as she eases her aching body 

into the hot water.   I lower the lid of the toilet seat and sit down.  We 

don't speak and after a few minutes, Scully pours some bath gel onto 

one of those nylon loofas and begins to wash methodically.  Her 

movements are slow and listless at first but suddenly she is scrubbing 

so harshly the nylon netting is leaving angry red marks on her flesh.  I 

kneel next to the tub and place my hand over hers, stilling her frantic 

movements.  



Shaking my head no, I pry the loofa out of her clenched fingers.  

Scooping water in my palms, I rinse the soap from her arms, 

shoulders and chest.  I reach out for the shampoo that she keeps at 

my place and hesitate.  I am afraid that this scene is too reminiscent 

of Phaster's strange fetishes and I don't want him intruding into our 

lives any more than he already has.  I hold the bottle of shampoo out 

to Scully.  She sets it down on the side of the tub and then slips down 

into the water to wet her hair.  Sitting back up, she lifts the bottle of 

shampoo with one hand and grasps my hand in her other.  Pouring a 

small amount of shampoo into my palm, she scoots closer to me so 

that I can better reach her hair.  I kiss her softly and rise up on my 

knees.  



Scully bows her head, revealing the vulnerable nape of her neck to 

me trustingly.  The tiny scar of her implant is almost lost in the 

massive amount of bruising mottling her skin.  She moves restlessly 

and I slick the shampoo between my hands and then massage it into 

her hair.  My motions are gentle, soothing, hypnotic and after a few 

minutes I feel Scully's body begin to relax infinitesimally.  Reaching 

out for the tumbler on the back of the sink, I urge her to lean her head 

back.  I pour clean water over her hair until it is rinsed clear and then I 

lift the plug out of the drain.



I help Scully to her feet and wrap her in a big, fluffy towel.  I gently 

pat her skin dry and then rub the excess water out of her hair. Lifting 

her into my arms, I carry her into the bedroom and set her gently on the 

bed. I help her into the pajama bottoms that I had brought from her 

apartment. Kneeling on the floor next to the bed, I help her slip her 

arms through the sleeves of the top and begin to button it closed.  I 

reach the top button and hesitate, drawn once again to the bruises 

marring her throat.  I can't help myself and press my lips against the 

soft skin at the hollow of her throat. 



I am surprised to feel a tear slide down my cheek and splash against 

her skin.  I had wanted to stay strong for her and thought I had been 

doing a pretty good job of it.  But now the enormity of it is hitting me.  

I had come so close to losing her.  Again.  I bite back another sob 

and shudder in her arms.



Scully lies back against the pillows, urging me to cover her with my 

body.  She places the palm of my hand against her breast and slides 

her own hand under my T-shirt.  I can feel her heartbeat beneath my 

hand and she can feel mine.



I smile and nod.  Scully curls her hand around the back of my neck 

and draws my face down to hers.  Her lips part and cling sweetly, 

softly to mine.  We kiss endlessly and I allow my weight to press into 

her fractionally.   She has long since rid me of my T-shirt and is now 

trying to push my jeans off my hips.



I stop her wandering hands.  "No, Scully.  I don't think this is a good 

idea tonight."



She lifts her gaze to mine.  "I just want to feel you, Mulder.  Over me, 

inside me, wrapped around me."



I study her face for a moment.  Her eyes are clear, honest.  There is 

no hint of desperation, no need to hide from the terrors of the night 

past, no attempt to bury her fears in misplaced passion.  Instead, as I 

sink into her body, I see a reaffirmation of the joys that life is still 

capable of bringing.



I see love.



The End





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