Title: Something Wonderful
Author: Tess
E-mail: tnv099@aol.com
Distribution: If you want it, sure. I'd like to know where though. Oh 
yeah, and since other authors mention this, please keep my name and 
other pertinent info attached.
Spoilers: All Things
Rating: Light R
Content: SR Alternating POV
Keywords: MSR
Disclaimer: They're not mine  The owners CC, 1013, Fox, DD and GA
Summary: My take on the missing All Things scene


Special thanks to Char Chaffin for beta and encouragement.


Something Wonderful

This is a man who thinks with his heart
His heart is not always wise
This is a man who stumbles and falls
But this is a man who tries
This is a man you forgive and forgive
And help and protect as long as you live

He will not always say what you would have him say
But now and then he'll say something wonderful
The thoughtless things he'll do will hurt and worry you
Then all at once he'll do something wonderful
He has a thousand dreams that won't come true
You know that he believes in them and that's enough for you
You'll always go along - defend him when he's wrong
And tell him when he's strong he is wonderful
He'll always need your love and so he'll get your love
A man who needs your love can be wonderful

   Rogers and Hammerstein - The King and I


Something Wonderful
By: Tess



"...too much to get into this late..." My voice trails off as I turn 
to see Scully sleeping. My entire body strains toward her. I want to 
crush her in my arms, gather her close and never let her go. I check 
my impulsive movement and instead brush an errant strand of hair from 
her cheek. I reach across her body and grab the blanket from the end 
of the sofa and cover her, gently tucking its edges beneath her chin. 
Standing, I pick up the empty tea mugs and carry them into the kitchen 
setting them into the sink. I move quietly through the apartment, 
turning off lights and checking the locks. The emotional events of the 
last two days have taken their toll on Scully. I am exhausted as well. 
Flying to England and back in two days, combined with the bombshell 
story that Scully dropped on me earlier this evening has left me 
drained.

Padding softly into my bedroom, I peel off my jeans and sink tiredly 
onto the mattress. I pull my sweater over my head and slide between the 
sheets in my T-shirt and boxers and set the alarm an hour earlier than 
usual. Scully will need time tomorrow to go home and get changed before 
going into the office.

Lying back, I stare at the ceiling, my mind spinning as I replay 
Scully's story in my head. I think I was shocked most of all by her 
revelation that she had been involved with a married man. This image 
doesn't fit with the woman I've known for the last seven years. Scully 
holds herself to such a high moral code. Maybe that's one of the 
reasons why she has set such impossibly high standards for herself. As 
sleep overtakes me, I reassure myself that Scully is exactly where she 
wants to be.

************  

I awaken slowly, disoriented. Right. Mulder's apartment. I squint at my 
watch in the blue glow of the fish tank. 12:35 a.m. I groan softly. I 
am so tired and driving home right now is not very appealing. Still, I 
need to go home so that I can get clean clothes before work. Folding 
the blanket in half and draping it over the back of the sofa, I decide 
to peek in on Mulder before I go.  If he's still awake, I'll let him know that I'm leaving, otherwise, I'll leave a note for him to find in the morning.I tiptoe to his bedroom door. I think he is asleep. I move closer to 
the bed and then settle on the floor, crossing my legs beneath me. 
Mulder is sleeping on his stomach, his face turned toward me. I trace 
his features with my eyes. He's so beautiful.

As I watch Mulder sleep, I can't help but make the inevitable 
comparisons between him and Daniel. How could I fall in love with two 
men who are so completely different? I blink, startled. In love with 
Mulder? I nod to myself. Yes, I know that I am. I've known it for a 
long time, but I've been reluctant to admit it. For all of its drama, 
my relationship with Mulder is by far *the* most important relationship 
in my life. Complicated, exciting, challenging. Sometimes exhausting 
and frustrating. Always exhilarating. I've been in love before. 
Certainly with Daniel. And at the time I was with Jack, I believed 
myself to be in love. Neither of those relationships worked out and 
I admit to myself that I've been denying my true feelings for Mulder 
because I've been burned before.

Seeing Daniel this weekend brought back all of the memories of our time 
together. I'd always been drawn to older men, possibly father figures, 
certainly authority figures. Cancerman was right about me in that 
respect. I am attracted to powerful men. Daniel was my teacher. My 
mentor. We shared a love for medicine and science and learning.  

He was my first real act of rebellion. Older. Forbidden. Married. I 
wanted his approval and he wanted me. Oh, I had a couple of boyfriends 
in high school and college, but no one desired me, *wanted* me the way 
Daniel did. That was heady knowledge. To know that he would abandon his 
wife and family if I asked him...

He was everything I thought I wanted in the man I would spend the rest 
of my life with. Devoted to me, interested in my body *and* my brain. 
Intelligent with a good sense of humor.

I blink, coming back to the present and grin fondly at the man sprawled 
out over the rumpled sheets before me. One arm is flung over his head; 
the other is twisted so that his palm is facing up, fingers twitching 
in his sleep. I trace one finger down the center of his palm and my 
name is a sigh on his lips.

"Scully."

He sleeps the way he lives his life - with total abandon, arms flung 
out to embrace the world and all of its ideas and challenges.

Daniel slept on his back, arms held stiffly along his sides. He never 
moved. And in some ways, that rigidity carried through to his waking 
hours. At times he could be very demanding, expecting me to think as 
he did and to make myself available to him whenever he was free. I gave
up spending evenings with my friends, doing things that 25-year-olds 
should do, could do. I hid my relationship with him from my family, 
from the world. We couldn't broadcast our feelings for each other to 
the world. We were hiding.

There are similarities there to my relationship with Mulder. I crave 
his approval. I distance myself from my family because they do not 
approve of my choices. I have lost all but the most fleeting of touch 
with my friends. I love him and I believe that he loves me, but we do 
not acknowledge these feelings in public.

Mulder drives me crazy more often than not. So many of his ideas are 
insane to me and he never, ever goes for the most logical explanation. 
His life is chaotic. I like my life orderly.

When he is focused on a case nothing else exists for him. And he does 
whatever he believes must to be done to solve it. Whether that be 
scheduling autopsies for me to perform, sending me off on errands, or 
ditching me (although I have to admit that he has gotten much better 
about that), he can become somewhat abrasive. He is thoughtless, 
putting himself in dangerous situations and leaving me behind, 
consumed with worry. He is sarcastic; biting when I don't go along 
with one of his ideas. And just when I think I'm going to have to 
shoot him again, he'll turn to me. He'll just look at me, often without 
saying a word, asking for my opinion. Asking for my help.

Mulder is so open to new ideas; he has so many dreams. He preaches 
"trust no one" and yet he is the most trusting soul I know. Like this 
trip to England, so many of his dreams and leads don't pan out and 
another tiny bit of his impulsive nature is crushed. It is my job to 
defend his methods to our superiors, to bolster his spirit when the 
weight of the world drags him down. I know, deep in my heart, it is 
why I was put on this earth. To protect him. To love him.

Daniel wanted me. But Mulder needs me.

I left Daniel for several reasons. I didn't like who I was becoming 
when I was with him. I wasn't raised to believe that it was acceptable 
to be involved with a married man. Oh, I tried to rationalize it by 
saying that love doesn't always follow the rules, but the bottom line 
was I was ashamed of myself.

I desperately wanted Daniel's approval and so I let him shape me into 
who he thought I should be. My thought processes, my belief system 
became as rigid as his.

When I left him and joined the FBI I brought that rigidity along with 
me.

Slowly through exposure to Mulder and his world, I have become less 
rigid in my way of thinking and more open to new ideas. Oh yes, I still 
fight them, but I am sometimes willing to accept them if there is no 
other explanation.

I smile to myself. Dr. Scully practicing holistic medicine. Who would 
have ever guessed?

Out of sheer necessity, my mind moves faster when I'm around him. I 
bask in the warmth of his passion and zeal. I am drawn to his brooding, 
obsessive nature and I wonder what it would be like to have that passion 
directed solely at me. 

And at the same time, I fear being the center of his attention. I am 
afraid to be the focus of his world, desperately afraid that I will fail 
him in some way.

Would I have been happy with Daniel? Possibly, I concede. Yes, the girl 
I was then might have been content. There is a lot to be said for the 
life Daniel offered me, such as the opportunity for a normal life, with 
regular work hours and the possibility of a family. Things I sometimes 
desperately long for, even today. And yet, the woman I am now has 
changed so dramatically from that girl that I hardly recognize my 
25-year-old self anymore.  

I like who I am now. I won't go so far as to declare myself free as 
Mulder had done several weeks ago. My life and my health are still 
being held hostage to the chip imbedded in my neck and whomever or 
whatever controls it to consider myself free. Am I happy? No, I admit 
that I'm not happy, at least not in the widely understood meaning of 
that term. However, a lot of the reason for my discontent is because I 
haven't, no, *we* haven't allowed ourselves to be happy. Maybe 
everything does happen for a reason. Maybe Mulder and I have both found 
our peace at the same time so that we can move forward.

Enough soul searching for the night, I decide. I stand and Mulder moves 
restlessly on the bed.

"Shh," I whisper, stroking the hair back from his forehead. "Go back to 
sleep." I press my lips to his cheek and he settles back down, smacking 
his lips softly as he snuggles deeper into the pillow. I take a few 
steps toward the door.

"Whassa matter, Scully?" he rasps.

"Nothing. It's late and I'm going home. Go back to sleep."

Mulder opens his eyes, squinting at me in the darkness. "Time izzit?" 
he slurs sleepily.

"Almost 1:00. I'll see you at work in a few hours." I try again to 
leave the room.

************** 

"Stay."

"Mulder, it's so late. I don't want to wait any longer to get going."

"It's too late for you to leave now." I push myself up on one elbow. 
"Stay."

She sighs, getting ready to reason with me.

"Stay. Please." I scoot back in the bed and lift the covers invitingly.

Scully stops moving and I can see an internal battle being waged. 
Finally, she nods to herself as if a decision has been made, and moves 
closer to the bed. She pauses and fingers her skirt.

"I don't have anything..."

I sit up in bed and tug my T-shirt over my head. Scully swallows and 
reaches out a trembling hand to accept my offering. She pivots toward 
the bathroom and pauses. Her eyes close and her brow furrows as if she 
is again arguing with herself. She seemingly makes a decision and drops 
the T-shirt onto the bed. She steps out of her shoes and twists at her 
waist, clumsy fingers fumbling with the side zipper. Her skirt falls 
with a rustle to the floor and she hooks her fingers into the waistband 
of her pantyhose, quickly peeling them down her legs. She takes a deep 
breath, as if fortifying herself and then crossing her arms in front of 
her, she grabs the hem of her sweater and sweeps it over her head and to 
the floor. The chain of her necklace has become caught in her hair and 
she lifts her hands behind her head to free it. Her body is bathed in 
the silvery moonlight streaming through the blinds of my bedroom window 
and I am immediately, painfully aroused.

Scully pulls my T-shirt over her head and smoothes her hands over her 
hips. She eyes the bed nervously and I set out to soothe her. Yawning 
dramatically, I pat the mattress as I lie down on my side. "Come on, 
Scully. It's late and we're both exhausted."

Scully smiles, the relief evident on her face and slips into the bed 
next to me. She turns onto her side and we watch each other in silence 
for a few moments. Fatigue pulls at her and she struggles to keep her 
eyes open.

"Go to sleep," I whisper softly. I ache to pull her into my arms but I 
am afraid of spooking her. I have waited a long time to see her sweet 
face gazing back at me from across my bed. I am not about to scare her 
out of it now.

She nods and her eyes drift closed. I stare at her for another minute, 
then resolutely close my eyes. She mutters something under her breath 
and inches closer to me. Her hair brushes against my shoulder and I 
reach out to cup the back of her neck with one hand. Scully tilts her 
head back and presses an open-mouthed kiss against my throat. Shuddering, 
I roll onto my back, drawing her with me. She settles her cheek against 
my chest and fidgets, trying to get comfortable. Finally, she lifts her 
leg and crooks it across my hips. Her thigh brushes against the pounding 
erection that even the jet lag weighing down every other part of my body 
does not seem able to diminish.

"Oh Mul..I'm sorry...I didn't mean..." She yanks her leg away as her 
voice trails off in abject embarrassment.  

"No, Scully. It's okay." I grasp the back of her knee firmly with my 
hand and lift her leg back up, this time onto my thighs. "Better?"

"Mmm hmm." She snuggles closer and once again buries her face in my neck 
and settles one hand over my heart. I am still cupping the back of her 
knee and begin to trace soothing, random patterns up and down the back 
of her thigh. I can feel her body relax by degrees until finally she is 
melted against me.

"Mulder?" Her voice breaks the silence. "I want you to understand that 
I didn't make a choice this weekend to spend the rest of my life with 
you."

I swear my heart stops beating.

Her thumb rubs absently over my chest as she continues. "This weekend I 
realized that I had made that choice a long time ago. This weekend I 
decided not to fight it any more." She lifts her head and meets my eyes.  "I want to make a life with you, Mulder.  If you want me."

Grasping her thigh firmly and still cupping her neck, I pull her up my 
body until she is sprawled over me. She is braced above me, her elbows 
pressing into the mattress on either side of my head. Her eyes are 
searching mine and I think she finds the answer she is seeking, for she 
lowers her face to mine.

"I love you." Her lips are a whisper away from mine. I lift my head 
from the pillow and take her mouth in a lingering kiss. Our lips cling 
moistly and as I lower my head back onto the pillow, she follows me down.

************

My hands are clenching fistsful of his hair as I tilt my head, changing 
the angle and depth of our kiss. Mulder moans and his tongue sweeps 
into my mouth. I want him so badly, but things are moving too quickly. 
Everything that has happened in the last few days has happened at 
lightening speed and I need to slow things down a bit. I pull out of 
our kiss. Mulder's eyes flutter open and his hands slide under the 
shirt I am wearing, sweeping up and down my back in long, seductive 
strokes. He flattens his palms against my spine, urging me close, trying 
to bring my mouth back to his own.

"Kiss me, Scully.  Please."

I shiver. His eyes are filled with want and so much love and suddenly 
I realize that what I had hoped for and feared at the same time had come 
to be. Mulder was focused on me with the same single-minded intensity 
that he usually saves for his work. I am swept under the wave of his 
passion and I bring my lips back down to his.

Mulder rolls until he is covering my body with his, crushing me into 
the mattress. One of his hands is still pressed against my back; the 
other is supporting my head as he pulls me up into his next kiss. My 
head is spinning and I can barely form a coherent thought. My mind and 
body are chanting 'MulderMulderMulder' and I am drugged with desire. 
Finally, he pulls away and we gasp for air.

"Mulder," I pant. "Stop - wait a minute."

"Don't wanna." His lips are seeking mine again.

I push against his shoulders, trying to gain his attention. He blinks, 
his eyes hot and demanding. I keep my hands pressed between us, lest he 
overwhelm my already fragile control.

"Wait. Wait."  

Mulder abandons his attempt to recapture my lips and instead moves his 
assault, pressing his mouth against the pulse beating frantically in 
my throat.

"What?" He lazily thrusts his hips into mine.  

"I...Oh..." He almost succeeds in shifting my attention.

"What's wrong, Scully?" 

I can tell that he is making some effort at focusing on what I am trying 
to tell him.

*********

I really am trying to listen to her but the fragrant skin of her neck 
easily distracts me. I open my mouth and bite gently down on her jaw.  
She groans and goes limp beneath me for a moment. I consider pressing 
my advantage but it's obvious that she wants to say something that is 
important to her.   force my head up and meet her eyes. She runs a 
trembling hand through her hair.

"I just think.."

She pauses again and grabs me by the hips. Until that moment, I was 
unaware that I had been mindlessly thrusting against her damp heat. 
Now that she has stopped me, I am almost bereft at the loss of 
sensation. I nod, indicating that I am listening to her.

"I don't think that we should do this."

I freeze, and for a moment, all I hear is a ringing in my ears. 
Finally her words penetrate and I lurch back in the bed. Her words are 
like a bucket of cold water being flung at me.

Oh God. She doesn't want this!


**********

Mulder springs away from me so quickly that at first I don't understand.  One look at his face has me scrambling to my knees.  The T-shirt that had become bunched around my waist, now falls down to my knees and I almost lose my balance trying to crawl over to him.

"NoNoNo." I reach for him and he flinches away.

"Mulder," I am trying to sound calm and quiet, but my voice sounds 
panicked and desperate instead. "No, Mulder. You don't understand. 
Please listen to me."

He nods his head jerkily but his eyes are wounded and grave. I crawl 
the rest of the way over to him until my breasts are pressed against 
his chest. I lace my fingers through his as I continue to explain.

"I think it's pretty obvious that I want you Mulder. That I want 
*this*."

Please God, I pray, please let me say this right.

"In fact, I have wanted you for a very long time. But we have to be up 
in less than five hours. I want us to be able to enjoy this."

I can see the relief warring with the hurt in his eyes.

"Well *I* was enjoying myself," he says petulantly.

"Mulder, we have waited so long. I don't want to rush now."

"We could take the day off," he suggests helpfully, hopefully.

I purse my lips and shake my head firmly.

"Mulder, I want to take my time with you. I want to explore you. I want 
to kiss my way down every inch of your body and then back up again. I 
want to cherish you. I want to love you. And I don't want to be fielding 
telephone calls from Skinner all day while I'm trying to do so!"

Mulder grabs me by the waist and pushes me back onto the mattress, 
following me down and covering me with his long body. He seals his lips 
over mine in a quick but passionate kiss. I am torn between wanting to 
smack him and wanting to tear his clothes off when he pulls away. He 
rolls off of me and then urges me onto my side. Curling up behind me, 
he wedges one knee between my thighs and throws his arm over my waist. 
His hand gathers up the folds of the T-shirt enveloping me, and he slips 
the tips of his fingers into the elastic waistband of my panties, 
stroking my stomach softly.

"I never thought I would have the chance to hold you in my arms like 
this," he rumbles in my ear. "I can wait."

***********


I feel the mattress dip as she slips out of bed. I can hear the water 
running in the bathroom and a few minutes later she settles back down 
next to me. I prop myself up on my elbows.

"I reset the alarm for you," she tells me. "I'm going home to take a 
shower and get changed. I'll see you at work in a couple of hours."

I nod and rest my head against her sweater. She cradles my head to her 
breast for a moment, then presses her lips into my hair. Easing me back 
onto the pillows, she whispers. "Go back to sleep."

I nod again and turn my head to watch her walk out of the bedroom.

"I love you," I mumble sleepily. Her smile is brilliant and she presses 
her fingers to her lips and then waves goodbye.


***********
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I'm so impatient to see her again that I rush into work almost 45 
minutes early. Then I have to cool my heels waiting for her to show up.

I hear her footsteps coming down the hall and I sit up in anticipation.

She steps through the door carrying two coffees. Setting one down on my 
desk, she smiles shyly at me. I grin back happily.

We settle quickly into our normal routine and before I know it, Scully 
is reaching for her coat. I glance at the clock. 3:30 p.m. I look up at 
her in confusion. We usually work at least until 6:30 or 7:00 p.m.

"I'm gonna call it a day, Mulder." She walks over to the door and turns 
back. "You might want to go home early too. You must still be a little 
jet-lagged." She stares at me for second or two, eyebrow arched. Waiting.

Is it any wonder I love this woman? Brains and beauty tied up in one 
tiny but sexy bundle. I jump to my feet. "Now that you mention it, I 
*am* a little tired." She lets the door swing shut behind her with a 
naughty grin and I scramble to catch up to her.

The End

Author's notes: I have to thank Char again for this one. When I 
mentioned to her that I was toying with the idea of writing a post-ep 
fic for All Things set to Something Wonderful, she offered to read it 
for me. Even as I get ready to hit "send" I am extremely  hesitant 
about posting this story. But Char said she liked it and I trust her.

I hope you'll let me know if you agree (or disagree) at tnv099@aol.com